The Missing Scene
by newbe1
Summary: Just a take on how I thought things should have happened. It's my first story, so summary and title are rubbish. Sorry.


**OK this is my first shot at writing something, it's probably rubbish but I though I'd give it a try. It's set during Season 15. Frannie, Noah and Jessie don't exist. Constructive criticism welcomed.**

"I don't date lawyers"

"Since when?" Amanda bites back probably a little too harshly. She was sick of the tension and sick of being treated like she didn't matter.

Amanda spins round before she can see the look Olivia is throwing her. Olivia cringed hoping none else caught the lawyer comment. She really didn't need more speculation.

Feeling the tears stinging her eyes Amanda get up from her seat Fin gives her a sympathetic look and winks, she returns a weak and walks off at speed shoulders slumped head down hoping nobody notices the tears threatening to spill.

"What's up with Amanda, she OK?" Olivia can feel a set of eyes boring into her, she looks up and sure enough Fin is sitting stony faced eyes burning into her.

"Do you even know what you've done to her? What the fuck is the matter with you?"

Before he has a chance to say another word Olivia is in front of him, she slams her hands down on his desk causing heads to turn but she didn't care, the anger was rolling off her in waves.

Her tone was dangerously low "Fin I know she's your partner and your only looking out for her but what went on between Amanda and I is none of your fucking business!"

Turning on her heels to walk away Fin pulls her wrist to stop her, "She a mess and you done that to her you fucked with her head!" loosening the grip on her wrist he kicks out the other chair and nods towards it.

Olivia rubs her hands roughly over her face and sits down with a huff keeping her head low almost too embarrassed to look at her colleague and friend.

Seeing the anger leave her Fin takes her hand in his and smiles gently, "Liv I know you've been through a lot with Lewis and Cassidy leaving but so has she, and you might not know it but she's been going through it with you, just from a distance."

Olivia lets out a small sarcastic chuckle "Fin she's barely spoke to me since she found out Brian and I were together in fact she tries to avoid me at all costs. Then after everything with Lewis it's like she doesn't even care"

A lone tear trickles down her cheek as Fin continues to give her hand a gentle squeeze waiting patiently for her to continue.

She let out an exasperated breath "She never came to see me after I was found she just stayed back on the side-lines and shut me out. Jesus even Alex reached out to me and she's in the fucking Congo."

She looked up to see Fin shaking his head "Liv that's not actually true…no one else knows this and I wasn't supposed to say anything, but she followed the bus to the hospital and stayed in the family waiting room till you got discharged. If she knew you were going to be home alone she'd sit outside your building, she's practically been living in her car since Cassidy left"

Seeing her eyes starting to mist over he pulls her into a tight hug as she begins to sob against his chest, "I never knew, I've been treating her so badly, I…I thought she hated me."

"Go talk to her Liv she needs you, and be honest with her." Squeezing Fin's shoulder she gets up and heads to the interrogation room, where Amanda has retreated to.

When she opens the door her heart stops as she takes in the sight before her, Amanda is sat back against the wall hugging her knees to her chest and her face tucked in.

Without looking up she makes a tired sounding request "Fin I'm OK. I'll be back out in 5 minutes." Still keeping her head down she hears the door close again and only a small sobbing sound can be heard.

As if she's stuck glued to the spot Olivia stands staring, her heart breaking at what she's done to her. Amanda Rollins is a live wire, she's smart, beautiful, warm and funny. Nothing like the person sat in front of her.

In that moment Olivia finds herself thinking back to when she first met Amanda Rollins; she hadn't exactly welcomed her with open arms when she'd first arrived. Slowly Amanda started getting under her skin at first she found her infuriating, and then she found herself more intrigued by the Southern woman. She was a mystery and she was finding herself drawn to Amanda, she had to find out more, what motivated her and what makes her tick. Now she finds her endearing even when she runs in the door late, red faced and puffing trying to pretend she's been in there all along.

She finds herself sometimes sitting just watching her and she is completely mesmerised by her, the way she chews on her pen and bounces her leg up and down when she writes, even the way she goofs around with the guys. That Southern drawl that drives her crazy, the way those blue eyes feel like they're searching your soul when she looks at you and her smile it can light up a room and make you go weak at the knees.

At that moment it occurs to her she's not only infatuated with this woman but is in fact completely head over heels in love with Amanda Rollins.

Suddenly she snaps back to reality and makes her way over to kneel beside her, "Manda…can I hold you?"

Amanda doesn't say anything she just nods and flops into the open arms, Olivia wraps her arms around the quivering form. Neither of them say anything, Olivia occasionally kisses the top of her head and makes calming shushing noises. Eventually she can feel Amanda relaxing as she finds herself lost in the scent and warmth of Olivia. "So Fin tells me I've had a friendly stalker this past while."

She can instantly feel Amanda tense up and she begins to pulls out of her embrace blue eyes piercing into warm brown, "Liv don't make fun of me. You shouldn't have come in here"

Missing the warmth of the other woman Olivia drops her arms in front of her and sighs "Amanda I was only teasing. I came in here to check on you and to say I'm sorry."

Amanda jumps to her feet Olivia knows she's said the wrong thing and waits for the back lash, but instead she was calm and controlled, a little exasperated sounding but never the less she was calm "No Liv you have nothing to be sorry for we both agreed what this was, just a couple of hook ups we weren't exclusive. I'm the stupid one who started having feelings for you so please let's just leave it at that."

"Amanda would you please let me speak and explain why I'm sorry. Im sor…."

Amanda cut her off before she could finish. And there it is the inevitable back lash Amanda started pacing the room, all Olivia could do is pray she didn't shout to loud. She's heard this woman shout before, and usually the whole precinct hears her.

"You're sorry!?" She stops pacing and looks Olivia dead in the eyes as her rampage continues.

"Are you sorry for sleeping with me for over a year telling me you care about me but you can't to go public? Or are you sorry because you told me that when I have my head between your legs it's the best you've ever had? Or maybe…maybe it was when you were riding my fingers and screaming my name over and over! Oh wait is it for jumping back into bed with Cassidy and not having the fucking courage to tell me yourself? Or are you sorry that Munch and Amaro came to his place and saw you wearing only his god damn shirt! What exactly are you fucking sorry for Liv?"

The sound of her voice was bouncing off the four walls and echoing through the room, at that point Olivia didn't know what was going to come out of Amanda's mouth next all she could do was stand there mouth agape. With her accent getting stronger it was shooting straight to her core, and Olivia couldn't help the thoughts going through her head now and how much she wanted to have her on that table right now. As inappropriate as it was angry Amanda was turning her on beyond belief.

"Amanda please, sit down" Amanda scoffs as she throws herself down on the chair. Olivia takes the other chair and sits in front of Amanda. "Look I know I hurt you when I got with Cassidy and your right I should have told you at the beginning but Amanda you and I both said this was a bit of fun and a distraction from this place."

Amanda let out a long shaky breath before she asked the next question, "Were you screwing me while you were with him? Would you have ever told me if Nick hadn't?"

Olivia dropped her gaze to the floor, "I never went from your bed to his or vice versa you and you and I hadn't seen each other and I was keeping my distance, because we needed a clean break from this if I was going to make it work with him." Olivia saw the hurt on Amanda's face but if she wanted to achieve anything today she had to tell her the full story. "When Lewis had me the worst part was the taunting, about not seeing the people I love again wondering whose name I'd call out at the end. He fucked with my head and all I could think was I might not see you again, never see that smile or get to run my hands through you hair, and the worst part was thinking if I died you wouldn't know how much you meant to me."

Suddenly feeling guilty that she was causing her more pain Amanda took her hand and cupped Olivia's face, "Liv I would have supported you, I would have helped you through it. Why didn't you call me? Did you move in with Cassidy because you loved him?"

"I was planning to tell you everything but when you never came to see me and you started shutting me out, I thought you hated me and I didn't blame you…I fucked up!"

Olivia made a move to hold Amanda's hand, she was grateful when she didn't pull away instead Amanda link their fingers together, drawing circles with her thumb to comfort her.

"From the minute Lewis took me I knew I didn't love Brian, if I did I'd have been thinking about him and not you. I moved in with him because I was scared to be alone." Tugging on Amanda's hand and through a watery smile "I didn't know my guardian angel was tailing me"

Amanda returned the smile "Why wasn't I enough?"

Dropping her eyes to the floor not being able to look at Olivia's reaction.

Instead of giving an answer Olivia paused that was all the answer she needed. "You paused Olivia."

Amanda gave her a sad smile and began to walk to the door, "Amanda wait" with that the door was closed. Olivia was left standing feeling exposed and raw. How could she tell her she absolutely terrified, everyone had there suspicions about Olivia Bensons sexuality. And everyone thought she was sleeping with Alex she never denied or confirmed anything and the only one who she told was Amanda.

This isn't what she wanted she wasn't going to spend another minute without her…the woman she loved. With her hand on the door handle she took a deep shaky breath.

Olivia walked out of the room and saw Amanda her back facing her in the middle of the busy squad room, "Fuck it, it's now or never" she murmured. Instead of moving towards her she called out "Amanda" afew people turned round but not her "AMANDA" nothing, Jesus this woman is so infuriating! "AMANDA FUCKING ROLLINS" as the room goes silent she whips her round to see Olivia who is finally waking towards her "I love you, I have done for a really long time and you are more than enough for me, I just hope I'm enough for you" Amanda stands stunned in the silence of the squad room, when Olivia finally gets to her, she pulls her close and kisses her deep and passionately pouring every ounce of love and emotion into it. Surrounding them are afew claps and whistles, Fin stands up ushering the onlookers away "OK folks back to work."

When they finally break apart for air Amanda pulls her close "I love you too. I can't wait to get you home and don't think I didn't notice how turned on you were earlier"

That arousal making itself present again "come with me"

"Uh Liv…I don't think this is such a good idea, we can't do _that_ here" Chuckling Olivia pulls her by the hand into Murphy's office "You two finished with your little floor show?"

Both Olivia and Amanda look sheepishly at each other "Yeah about that, Rollins and I are taking afew personal days starting now."

Not bothering to wait for an answer they walk out the door hand in hand, "Amanda, I can't wait to see what the future brings. I love you."

Amanda brings their clasped hands to her lips kissing them "I love you too"

The End


End file.
